I’m turning 16 and I’m running out of time.

My teen years are wasting- curdling, coiling

Around me, alone in my bed

Homework again, laptop hot.

I’m turning 16 and since I was 12 nothing has changed

Only me, not my experiences

No parties or Project-X type

Shenanigans- they’re important.

My old friend group, hanging out away from

Me and my best friend; we are 

The only two

Notably, not notably absent.

I don’t even talk to the one kid 

Anymore, he said he didn’t want to;

Only one stood by me, and she is home

Alone as well.

I’m turning 16 and I keep saying “later”

But “later” has already come.

I live in the later, too late to the later

Too late; I’m running out of time.

The years I dreamed of are upon me

The future girl experiencing all of 

The teenager things to 

Experience, but it’s me 

Not experiencing all of 

The teenager things to

Experience.

I can’t even tell if I really want to party and 

Lie and sneak around.

I’m at war with myself over the good thing I’ve 

Always been taught to do and

The free thing I’ve always been known to crave.

Hypothetical wars are not fun even if 

You know they will never happen.

I’m turning 16 and my life is routine

I’m suddenly 36 with a 9 to 5

That’s where I see myself anyway.

Where did my ambition go? 

Don’t you gain traits as you grow?

I did the opposite. 

I’m turning 16 and I don’t want routine and I don’t want 

The same boy on my mind taking up the 

Space I have plenty of, nothing to fill it

Nothing to tell to the people I know 

So i gossip and lie

About other people’s lives

They’re more interesting than mine; they have time.

They are comfortable in their own space, I’m uncomfortable,

Unspaced worries running through my mind- I have no time.

I have no time.

I have years left of no time, of no ambition, of boredom devoid of romanticism.

I’m turning 16- how am I 16? I feel only a blur of days I forget I liked.

Am I satisfied with my life?

Would I be satisfied with my death?

Would I be, am I 

Satisfied?

I’m turning 16 and I’m running out of time.

How can I be 

Satisfied?